When it comes to helping your expat child thrive in the Netherlands, the challenge often goes beyond just learning Dutch – it’s about feeling at home, making friends and navigating cultural differences. One key decision you’ll face is choosing between group or private Dutch lessons. But how can these lessons also support your child’s social integration? Let’s explore the options and see how they connect to helping your child build both language skills and friendships.
The social challenge for expat children
Moving to a new country is exciting, but many expat parents notice that their children struggle to connect with Dutch peers. Despite speaking (some) Dutch, playdates may not happen, and their child often feels left out. Why is this?
- Fixed friend groups: Dutch school classes are often stable, with the same classmates for years. Social Identity Theory (Tajfel & Turner, 1979) explains that people naturally stick to their ‘ingroup’, making it hard for newcomers to break into established friendships.
- Direct vs. indirect communication: Dutch people are known for their directness, while expat children may come from cultures where politeness and subtle communication are key. This can cause misunderstandings and discomfort.
- Being ‘different’: Children may see unfamiliar habits or accents as ‘strange’, sometimes excluding expat peers without realizing it.
- Tall poppy syndrome: While international families often celebrate achievements, Dutch culture values modesty, making some expat children feel they must downplay their successes.
- Classroom dynamics: Expat children used to active classroom participation may find Dutch classmates less engaged, making it harder to bond.
- Language nuances: Even if a child speaks Dutch, social humor and slang (BICS vs. CALP, Cummins, 1979) can take years to master.
- Parental challenges: Expat parents may feel powerless and unable to guide their children through these social nuances due to language barriers.
How language lessons support social integration
Choosing the right Dutch lessons – group or private – can significantly impact your child’s confidence and ability to build friendships.
Private Dutch lessons: tailored support for rapid progress
Private lessons offer one-on-one attention, adapting to your child’s pace and goals. They are ideal if your child needs intensive support to catch up at school or prepare for tests. But beyond language skills, private lessons at Dutch for Children focus on preparing children for real-world social situations. We teach the language of the playground, common phrases for starting conversations, and how to respond to Dutch directness, helping your child feel more at ease.
Why choose private lessons?
- Customized learning to tackle both language and social integration.
- Practice real-life scenarios like inviting a friend over or joining a game at recess.
- Reduced anxiety, giving your child space to ask questions they might feel shy about in a group.
However, private lessons can feel isolating, so we also encourage opportunities to practice Dutch socially, whether at sports clubs or through community activities.
Group Dutch lessons: building language and friendships
Group lessons create a dynamic space where children learn Dutch alongside their peers. With small class sizes (max. four children), your child practices both language and social skills: listening to others, joining discussions and collaborating on activities.
Why choose group lessons?
- Social learning mirrors school and real-life settings.
- Shared focus means less pressure, fostering natural interactions.
- Encourages teamwork and bonding over shared learning experiences.
- Introduces informal language and humour used by Dutch children.
While group lessons follow a set schedule, they build confidence in a social setting, helping your child feel less like an outsider in their classroom.
Which option is best for your child?
To decide between group or private lessons, ask yourself:
- How quickly does my child need to learn Dutch? Private lessons suit fast-tracked learning; group lessons offer steady, social practice.
- How old is my child? Younger children often benefit from private lessons, while older kids may enjoy the social aspect of groups.
- Does my child struggle socially? If yes, private lessons can address both language gaps and social strategies.
- What’s our schedule and budget? Group lessons are cost-effective but fixed in timing; private lessons are flexible but pricier.
Language is the bridge to friendship
At Dutch for Children, we go beyond grammar and vocabulary. Our private and group lessons integrate language with social skills, ensuring your child learns Dutch and understands how to connect with their peers. Whether it’s helping them confidently ask to join a game at school or decode Dutch humour, we equip them with the tools they need to thrive.
Struggling to choose the right option? Book a free consultation with us at dutchforchildren.nl/contact/.
Let’s create a plan that empowers your child – linguistically and socially – in the Netherlands.